Two characteristics which distinguish writers from ordinary, pen-wielding mortals are vision and style. A dozen people standing on a street corner may witness the same event: let us say a chicken crossing a road. The eleven non-writers will view the chicken’s crossing as a meaningless, mundane act. However the twelfth, the writer in the crowd, will see it as a rite of passage or as a window to some universal truth. To illustrate how an author’s vision and style characterize his writing, below are some fowl adaptations of a dozen famous literary works, with my sincerest apologies to the original writers.
When Mr. Bilbo Chicken of Fowl End announced that he would shortly celebrate his eleventy-first birthday by crossing the road, there was much talk and excitement in Henton. – J. R. Tolkien
Billy Chicken had become unstuck in time. – Kurt Vonnegurt
Last night I dreamt I crossed the road to Manderlay again. – Daphne DuMaurier
Cluck did not read the newspapers, or he would have known that trouble was brewing, not alone for himself, but for every chicken fromPuget Sound to San Diego. – Jack London
The chicken with black feathers fled across the road, and the Gunslinger followed. – Stephen King
Thou wast not born for death, immortal bird! No hungry vehicles tread thee down. – John Keats
You see a chicken who crosses the road and you ask, “Why?” I see a chicken who never crosses the road and I ask, “Why not?” – George Bernard Shaw
‘Twas a far far better road I crossed than I had ever crossed before. – Charles Dickens
And the chicken, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting, on the shoulder of that road. – Edgar Allen Poe
His was not to reason why. His was but to do or die. Across the road raced the chicken. – Lord Alfred Tennyson
The houses are haunted by white chickens. None of them made it across the road. – Wallace Stevens
To cross or not to cross, that was the question. – William Shakespeare
Why DID the chicken cross the road? So he could blog about it.